i haven't been able to get any work done on sundays. today wasn't any different. at first i thought it was because i would get too drunk or high or something on saturday and was consequently mentally exhausted the next day. but even when i don't particularly drink too much, i still feel sluggish. i want to go see a doctor or something. i'm pretty sure i have some sort of attention deficiency. my mother refuses to acknowledge that. she says the way doctors are quick to prescribe drugs to kids for that alarms her. she says that the kids are never the same when on drugs. that they look dead. she says i was like that, all jumpy and stuff. couldn't sit still. it's mellowed out, according to her. i disagree. i can sit still, sure, but i can't focus well. anyway, my health insurance is running out in about thirty days. probably won't have it again until next year. so, yeah. can't really afford to seek help for any bodily issues right now. or at least, it would be untenable