when i got got back to my room last night, i went on instagram. i was drunk and for whatever reason i checked rebekah's page and realized i had unfollowed her. i remember having seen her post something earlier last week, and i couldn't recall ever unfollowing her. maybe i did it while drunk? maybe in my sleep? i thought maybe she blocked and unblocked me but that seems like too much of an effort and she was still following me. i don't know. but i didn't like that i did because i had too much pride to unfollow. i don't know where i'm going with this. basically i requested to follow her but she unfollowed me instead. it's strange. for the longest time i thought we were still "friends". i realized that wasn't the case last october/november but i guess it's real now. this doesn't make sense. it doesn't matter. but it bothered me for a large part of today. i know it doesn't matter, and it's not like i'm emotionally affected by it. it's not a betrayal. my feelings aren't necessarily hurt, at least not directly. i... i just want to be a good, kind person, but i find that the world is increasingly against me. i briefly thought this would affect my new year's resolution, part of which was to not lose any friends. but i consider this 'frienship' to have ended late last year, so i am not going to count it against me. it's still not a good sign overall

i wanted to write about the eagles riots in philly but i'm exhausted now so i'll have to do that tomorrow