i ate some shrooms last night, as a reward for getting some stuff done like laundry and showering. i watched "i, tonya" (2017). i liked it. i think i would've liked it regardless of the shrooms. i spent a good deal of time listening to animal collective (as corny as that sounds) while on the drug. i really appreciate strawberry jam. and feels. and merriweather post pavilion. it's a very good three-peat of albums. a gem in their discography. i would say more but i can't, or don't, want to remember how happy i felt during all of it due to a conflict of interest that recently arose

the check i deposited last friday bounced. i got an email from my bank letting me know. i texted my boss and she said she'll mail me another one tomorrow. the sudden loss of funds prompted me to finally get around to starting the payment plan for the next semester

i thought... i thought i had til the 15th. like how it was for the first semester. turns out i was supposed to put in place five days ago, on the 3rd. i'm feeling hopeless. i feel like i only have myself to blame. sure the financial aid office or student billings or whatever department could send email reminders about these kinds of deadlines, seeing as they're relentless with all other kinds of trivial emails, but i feel, and i can't currently be made to feel otherwise, that it is entirely my fault. i'm desperate. i kept making jokes that i would be taking the semester off, but, at this moment, it seems all the more likely that my joke will realize itself. i'm gonna call tomorrow and see if something can be worked out but in the case that nothing can be... i always gravitate to the more pessimistic option... in the case nothing can be done... i don't even want to think about it

i got a haircut earlier, but i can't seem to care anymore. i was gonna take my brother iceskating but i couldn't deal with going outside anymore. mad thankful i don't have anything to make me maudlin