felt weird all day. i think it's because i had to send an email looking for someone to cover my shift at work. my boss sent us all an email saying we need to clarify when the shifts are (noon/midnight) which was, in context, directed at me. someone did cover mu shift, which was nice. but the whole thing made me uncomfortable. seems i always find a way to do something wrong. i said i'd get fired by november, but kim told me not to put that energy into the universe

felt like disappearing while on the train, going from sixty-ninth to eleventh street. looking out the window, while the train was still above ground, felt strange. like a longing for the tranquility of the trees and grass. thought about skipping out on the show and not doing anything. not responding to my friends asking me how far i was from the venue. but i didn't do that. and i was at union transfer thirty minutes after the doors opened

i felt like there were bugs on me. i kept checking my arms. my head. i was itching. thought, am i going through some sort of withdrawals? withdrawals of what? could other people see me essentially freaking out?

the show was good. will toledo came out wearing gauchos, and now i want a pair. the setlist was good. the openers though... the first one was okay. thought his jokes were good. music was fine. not really my thing. the second guy, i didn't really like him. the music was too juvenile. one song went 'i'm gonna make this song because i can'. that was basically all the lyrics. kayla, sarah, and i all thought he looked like the caveman from ice age and we turned to each other and expressed that simultaneously. our minds..

i wore the wrong shoes. the ones i had were a bit tight and thin. people started a pit the moment 'bodys' played, which was the second song. i got my toes crushed all night. i thought they were gonna be bloody when i got home. there was this one girl who kept pressing up against sarah. at one point sarah pushed her off and said, 'get the fuck off me'. so funny. that girl, she kept "singing" the lyrics but it was just her yelling them as loud as she could. there was this other girl that was next to me. she was wearing boots. she stepped on me multiple times. can't be mad though. the crowd kinda forced her to

did a good job of not focusing on trying to capture the moment on my phone. took a few pictures. and a couple videos. but kept my phone away for the most part. largely because i needed to have a good amount of battery life left to get home. so it's not like it was a continuous effort to better enjoy the show. that's just the side-effect

i only ate once today. proud

i rushed home. was back on campus by one-thirty