on saturday, i walked around campus from house to house by myself then with rae. everyone was celebrating st patricks day by being drunk well before noon. i didn't feel like joining in for a good while. around 4pm, i went back to my room with the intent of taking some mda i had. i ended up waiting another hour or so before taking it

went to see rae again afterwards, then we went to dinner. i don't think i ate much. just drank some water and apple juice. rae was gonna get her haircut so we went to do that. a friend of ours was doing it, so we hung out at their place. i went up to see where other people were and stumbled into a room where people were playing that drinking game that involves cards and counting. i hate that game. i don't think anyone needs to be drinking that much

i had left a long-sleeve shirt in this room months ago, and the girl who lives there turned to tell me that she would not be returning it to me. because she really liked it. i didn't really say much. she turned away and then back. she said she would return it if i actually wanted it back, but that she did really like it and that she had worn it three times. she gave this strange smile and part of me wanted to let her keep it. i don't wear it and through the months of its absence it has become clear that i don't need it. but, my mother gave me that last year and i don't want to part with it so unceremoniously, especially by giving it to some girl i wouldn't really consider myself "friends" with. i didn't ask for it back. it didn't feel like the right time. but i do intend on getting it back at some point. maybe further into the spring

went back to the room where rae was getting a haircut and hung out there until around 8pm, when jamie invited me to phoenixville. we drove to a smoke shop there so that i could get my hands on some kratom. i hadn't tried it before, and the other day, i spent a good deal of timee researching what it was only to have jamie ask me if i had ever taken it later that night. a coincidence. anyway, i bought some, went back to my room, took 1.5 grams before realizing i might need more and taking 1g more. i drank some gin, not a lot, before we went out to reimert. i think i'm a fan of kratom. it was enjoyable

i didn't feel particularly hungover sunday morning. i was generally fine. i was lazy the entire day. i watched inside out, which made me cry a bit. made me realize how much older i've gotten and how much i've changed and how insesant time is. all the ususal stuff. Then i watched paddington, and though i did not cry to this movie, i did really enjoy it and now i'm gonna be a huge paddington fan. i have to watch the second one

i opened spotify and the launch page recommended i check out the new fratellis album. i haven't really listened to them in a while, since, like, junior year in high school. i remember, after watching a blackhawks game on t.v., they would play 'chelsea dagger' after each time they scored and it got stuck in my head. i remember texting rebakah about how that song was stuck in my head and she expressed sympathy, something along the lines of "oh no" or "oh god thats terrible". i had seen ads for this album in instagram and the two songs they used in those ads were the first two of the album. which i found interesting. this also made me think about how much time has passed. me and rebekah don't talk anymore. i don't listen to the fratellis anymore. i made myself some coffee while thinking a lot about these things. formed many thoughts, but i forgot them between then and sitting down to write this. maybe that's for the better. i don't need to put everything down here. which, i think, i've made obvious with posts that are comprised of three lines