took my dog to the beach today. it was her first time witnessing the vastness of the ocean. she didn't jump into the water, which was smart of her since it was around 50 degrees and she would've been cold. not to mention smelly. she spent the half hour there running around chasing gulls. she didn't seem to like my sister's pets much. she barked at her ferret after staring at her for a minute. she ignored the cat until the end, where she suddenly became aggravated by it and wouldn't stop barking. I think she just needs more exposure to different animals that aren't dogs. i don't think i've actually stepped foot into the ocean since i was at bondai beach in (near?) sydney, australia. the water was nice there. even during their winter. very blue, almost sapphire. soft sand. haven't been to a beach worth swimming in since then. i do like to read at the beach. it's relaxing. would've done that but it was chilly. and i forgot my book

oh god, everything seems to come crashing down. well, that's an embellishment. everything is in reference to the neon indian concert i want to go see with alejandro. it seemed like a good idea, and i don't know why i put off getting the ticket so long, but i am increasingly glad i did. he told me that there would be people there, people i don't want to be anywhere near due to the vaguely aforementioned incident from the previous post. if there was a chance for sudden panic yesterday, there definitely will be panic at that concert. maybe i can drown that out with drugs? i can get drunk and drop acid prior to the show, but i feel that may only exacerbate the symptoms. part of me wants to call it off (and i can since i haven't spent anything yet) but i feel bad leaving him to go on his own. i'm sure he'd understand if i explained it to him, or even just ambiguously mentioned a conflict of interest or something, but i try not to think of it a lot. gosh, the world is increasingly against me. i'll have to figure out by tomorrow, but it would suck to miss this show

there's this garfield shirt that reads "garfield" in the seinfeld logo and i kind of want it. don't know if I'm willing to drop 30$ (including shipping) but who knows. i said i was 5'9"/5'10" but after pausing for a moment, i'm pretty sure it's just 5'9". ferrets are like tiny raccoons. by that i mean they look like tiny bandits, similar to raccoons. they're both cosplaying bandits. bandit adjacent. i find myself saying [blank]-adjacent increasingly. like what does that even mean? i don't know, but it sounds right