everything has gone downhill since the clock struck midnight. well, not exactly when it hit midnight, because i spent a good hour finishing season one of community with kim and eating pizza, but soon after i had to walk back in the snow. i had to pack, get a nap in, and "study" for a calc 2 final i had set myself up to fail because i'm stupid

when i say i'm stupid, i don't mean i'm not book smart, i mean that i never make the correct decisions and always beat myself up about it later, though i never really change. so i am pretty sure i failed that calc final and consequently, the course. if that's the case, then i may have just nailed the coffin shut on that studying abroad idea i had for next spring. at best i'm looking at fall senior year, if i'm still at ursinus then

i couldn't say bye to friends in fear that i'd break down crying because of the whole calc thing. then i couldn't find a ride to the airport so i had to uber. the thing about me and the days i have flights is that i never sleep. or at least no more than a couple hours. that stayed constant. i lost one of my cat pins at the airport. or in the uber. doesn't matter where, point is its gone. to make a long story short, the plane was late to florida, so i missed my connecting flight. now i am not sure when i'll see my luggage and for a while was going to have to wait till the next morning to get home. this girl was also in the same predicament, so we took an uber to the other airport and are now waiting to fly to houston. i should get her name

i would cry but i am so exhausted i can't